Saturday, 9 April 2016

Living in the moment in the midst of transition.

I had two of my nieces over a couple weeks ago.  Rachel my youngest niece loves to talk and share.  She told me she has her life all planned out...she's only 10 ;-)  She wants to be a teacher, get married, renovate some homes and have 5 children...3 girls and 2 boys I think.  She has dreams and goals and can't wait to fulfill them and that's a good thing.  I did mention something about living in the "now" and she agreed and told me that she knows how to live in the moment...that she lives each day and tries to live in a positive way...did I say she's 10.

I know when I was younger my dreams and goals were to be married and have a family and I've completed that goal.  I will always be a mom but kids eventually move out as most of ours have and then one can wonder "now what?"  What do I do with this life of mine that was once filled with...


baby cuddles 


crying children

little kid smiles

bouquets of wild flowers 

fighting children

everyone around the dinner table





all the firsts

growing up struggles

The list could go on and on, so many memories.  But there comes a time when much of that is silenced in the every day.  At times I can feel like I wander and wonder..."what now, what is my purpose?" And to be honest sometimes I find myself feeling like I really don't make a difference in this world.  It's at those times though that my husband reminds me of who I am and that I do make a difference and that I have much to offer.  I guess it was easier when my kids were small and all home because I knew what I had to do...I had kids to grow to to be there for...much of life consisted of that and I loved it.  Sure it was challenging but also so rewarding.

I think over this past year though I've come to accept where I'm at and it's okay.  Transitions and change are often hard and I just need to let that unfold and not keep on looking and wondering what's next and in that neglect the today's.  Each day is a gift and each day I need to try and live that gift to the fullest.  To have my ear tuned towards the One who holds my life in His hands and has a plan and purpose for my life.  To see where He is working and step into that.  

And so even when days seem to be filled with just mundane things, things that you feel have no significance at all, I believe they do because I think it's in how we do those things that makes the difference.

I've always taught our kids that he or she who can be trusted with the little things in life God will trust them with much.

And so I'd better get on with my day because I've made a list of goals to accomplish while my husband is away.  Eleven items in no specific order.  My husband laughs and shakes his head at me because he's a list person but in completing his list he goes through it in numerical order.  I'm a bit freer than that 8, 1, 5, 3, 10, etc.  you get the idea ;-)  I've been the queen of unfinished things :-)  I do a little of this and a little of that but in the end nothing gets fully completed, but that's changing.  I've fully completed three items from my list!  The first thing I checked off the list was an album I had started over five years ago so it's a big satisfaction to have that completed.

Well I'm off to complete my forth item.

Things to be thankful for...

1919. Quiet night
1920. My health and strength
1921. Morning sunshine sparkling on the snow
1922. Being blessed with the Happy Birthday song by my bible study friends
1923. Beautiful flowers and warm fuzzy socks

1924. My husband who cares for my heart when I feel battered
1925. Vulnerability 
1926. God uses hurtful/painful things for His purposes in my life
1927. My church family
1928. Birthday blessings
1929. Birthday dinner with friends
1930. My life
1931. Phone calls from my kids
1932. Smiles & laughter
1933. Birthday cake made by mom, celebrating with family
1934. Walk in the Frink Centre with Charissa, warm sunshine on our faces
1935. God's grace, faith, strength and love shining in the heart of a woman at church
1936. Baby gift shopping with Charissa
1937. Charissa & Kayla out for a ride

1938. Cardinal's song
1939. Sharing & prayer time with a couple from church
1940. Laughter & smiles from a little red head who helps with chores
1941. Morning bird songs through my kitchen window
1942. Encouraging others
1943. Charissa doing the tough things
1944. Matt got the lens he needs for Nepal
1945. Walk with my neighbour on a mild morning
1946. Laundry drying on the clothes line
1947. Bluejays going crazy this morning
1948. Daytona galloping up the hill and little Elmo trotting behind
1949. The gentle sound of rain through the open window

1950. Knitting with a friend
1951. Call from Jocelyne, Lauren and Keira ~ little girl voices
1952. Baking cookies with Sarah 
1953. Our Marriage Ministry group
1954. God moving
1955. Laughter in the morning with Matt
1956. Sunshine and clothes drying on the line

1957. Tea and conversation with a friend
1958. Star filled sky
1959. Morning fog
1960. Quiet day with my husband

1961. Hope
1962. My husband's laughter
1963. Conversation with people from China and Nepal
1964. Fellowship
1965. A christian brother gone home, he suffers no more
1966. Symphony of bird songs this morning
1967. Help from my husband
1968. God's provision for Matt
1969. Blessing for my husband
1970. Chinese Visa's have finally arrived after a long wait ~ soon they'll be leaving for Shanghai and Nepal

1971. The sound of thunder
1972. Shopping with mom
1973. Beautiful evening light after the rain
1974. God used a young shepherd boy to defeat a giant
1975. Will, Amy and Charissa home
1976. Celebration of life service for a man who ran his life race well
1977. A beautiful family ~ memories shared
1978. Celebrating mom Vanderlaan's 70th birthday with family

1979. Dreams realized
1980. Delicious dinner and conversation with friends
1981. Early morning bird songs
1982. Feeling our grandbaby move
1983. Visit with Amy and Will
1984. Drive with my husband in the camaro
1985. Walk through the Frink Centre with my husband

1986. Projects accomplished
1987. Big clusters of snow falling

1988. Encouraging words from a woman at church
1989. Fun with Lily
1990. Hearing Elmo's first hee haw
1991. The beauty of Daytona as he trotted toward the gate ~ the majesty of the horse
1992. Chat with Jocelyne
1993. Everything coated in ice

1994. Morning fog
1995. Pair of swans at the Frink Centre

1996. Charissa
1997. Jenna
1998. Rachel
1999. Amy
2000. Will
2001. Baby

Charissa kindly penned in numbers 1996 ~ 2001 :-)

2002. Good Friday ~ Christ's sacrifice

2003. Laughter
2004. Stories told by Rachel and Jenna
2005. My husband
2006. Baby shower fun with family and friends

2007. New life ~ anticipation of his/her arrival

2008. He has risen

2009. Dairy Queen with Sarah, Charissa and my husband
2010. A husband who cares for/sees my heart
2011. Beautiful sunshine
2012. Chat with Jocelyne
2013. Early morning thunder and lightening
2014. Blessing for Matt ~ a good deal on a needed camera bag
2015. Morning laughter with Matt
2016. Spring sunshine

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